The Mantra That Changes Everything

Six Words to Dissolve Frustration and Transform Your Life

I have a new mantra that’s been helping me in a lot of things… with my pets, with my ex, with my competitive mind. The reason I call this the mantra that changes everything is because it will change the way you look at things...

And, as the late, great, Wayne Dyer used to say, “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”

My hope is that you’ll test it out in your own life, because you may find that it creates the kind of profound shifts in your life that it’s made in mine.

I’ve made different videos with some examples of how you can use it in various situations because the applications are many and varied!

Below you’ll find a list of other ways you can use it to shift your emotions, reframe big situations, shift the way you see the world, and give simple ways to weave a new perspective into your daily life.

What’s the mantra?

I’m choosing to see this differently.

Why?

Because this mantra is like a pattern interrupt. It invites us to step away from the grip our mind might have on something into a gentler, more neutral perspective.

Sometimes – especially when a situation is stressful we adopt a fixed viewpoint – a black-and-white perspective. For me, especially when I want something, or an issue is emotionally charged, it’s easy for the mind to glom on to its viewpoint, like a monkey that won’t let go of a banana.

That’s actually how monkeys are caught in some countries. People find a jar with a neck narrow enough for a monkey to get his hand in and place a banana inside. But the neck isn’t narrow enough for the monkey to get its hand out if it’s holding onto the banana. The monkey gets caught because he won’t release the banana. He could simply be free, if he’d just let go. But the banana is too tempting, too “in the hand,” too irresistible. Like this, our minds get stuck in “I’m right,” or “this is terrible,” or “this shouldn’t be happening.” We could be free if we’d relax our viewpoint.

In this way, “I’m choosing to see this differently,” helps us be free. It invites a more space, and more breathing room.

I was a born worrier, as my mom has told me. As a young woman I made up stories that literally made me sick! I had to learn tools to calm my mind, and now I have a huge toolbox. This mantra is impressively simple, you can use it anywhere, and it can definitely help with the chronic worry.

Example: I was making myself wrong because I didn’t reach out to tell people about an upcoming program. This mantra helped me see that there really was no right or wrong in the situation. It was not a big deal, and I could be happy no matter how many people showed up.

Example: My cat was peeing on things, which led to incredible frustration. I’m choosing to see this differently helped me to see that he was just stressed out, and marking his territory because of that. The mantra shifted me from frustration to compassion. I got him some Rescue Remedy to help his situation.

Example: I was upset with the choices a politician was making. This mantra helped me relax, knowing I don’t know the full story about what’s going on.

The following are some other examples of ways you can use it. Please let me know where you use it in your life, and how your perspective changes!

As you read this list, keep in mind that there are two ways of using this mantra. One is to deliberately look for a new perspective. The second is to allow a new perspective to spontaneously arise. Your inner wisdom can simply give you a new way of seeing, without you deliberately looking for one.

Daily Life Examples:

1. Traffic frustration → Opportunity for patience
   Instead of “Arrgh, this driver in front of me is so slow” Change to: “This is an invitation for me to slow down and take a breath. I’ve been going all day.”

2. Your child forgets their lunch or an important paper → A chance for grace and compassion or - a chance to make a change in routine to help it work for everyone.
   Instead of “They never listen to me or, they need to grow up!” → “They have a lot on their plate too. I also forget things from time to time.” Let’s make sure their backpack is fully ready, the night before.

3. Feeling behind in life or like you missed your opportunity → Trust in divine timing
Instead of “I should be further ahead” → “What’s for me can never miss me. I’m exactly where I’m meant to be, and my path is unfolding in perfect timing, even if I can’t see it yet.”

Emotional Shifts:

4. Self-criticism → Forgiveness and self-compassion
   Instead of “I should have known better” → “I did the best I could with what I knew then… this shows me how much I’ve grown.” OR “It’s all working out the way it needs to, even if it’s not yet clear.

5. Comparing yourself and your life to others → Recognizing your own gifts
   Instead of “They’re so much more successful,” “Look what they get to do — I’m a failure.” → “Their journey is different from mine, and I have my own unique path.”

6. Comparing yourself to others → Shifting to gratitude for yourself and where you’re at. “I’ve never sacrificed my integrity and that’s admirable. I’m so grateful for my beautiful home, and the friends I’ve made.” “We never know the full picture of someone’s life, and I have beautiful experiences I can appreciate.”

7. Anger toward a person → Seeing their humanity
   Instead of “How could they act like this?” → “Maybe they’re struggling in ways I don’t see.” “Hurting people hurt people.” “If I grew up like that, I would have their perspective too.”

8. Anger toward politicians → How could they be doing this?” “I don’t know all the variables that are part of this decision.”

Bigger Picture Reframes:

7. A financial setback → A redirection
   Instead of “This is a disaster,” → “What if this is guiding me toward something even better?!”

8. A difficult childhood memory → Strength and resilience
   Instead of “That was so challenging and unfair” → “I learned so much from that experience, and it’s made me into a kinder, more compassionate person.”

9. A health challenge → A call to deeper care
   Instead of “My body is failing me” → “My body helping me not rush through the world.” OR “I’m getting the signal to create more time for rest.” OR “My body is inviting me to become more present with what it needs, so I don’t get a bigger wake-up call later.” OR My body is showing me where I’m out of alignment in my life.”

   “I have bad hips,” → “My hips are showing me I need to take more time and care for myself.”

Please let me know how this mantra works for you!

Later this week I’ll be back with one simple question to quiet your mind, so subscribe to be updated. And if you’re inspired, please share, because I’m just getting started.

You can find free tools for calming your nervous system at clarityspace.org. There, on the calendar, you can also find retreats and fun events.